Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Weekend Break

Hiya! How are you? Hopefully fantastic =)

Me, I'm coming off a make-shift weekend. Sending out my first novel to beta readers was...emotional, to say the least. To be honest, I ended up giving myself Monday & Tuesday to detox, relax, and focus on something other than writing.

I'm getting back into it tonight though, and I'm so happy! Initial feedback from some of the beta-readers was positive, and I'm excited to see what else they say!

Honestly, I'm expecting replies such as "nice first try, but not so much" or "yeah, no." I'm very much one of those people who, in every area of life, is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and writing is no exception. Hence the reason it's taken me twenty years to get this far O.O

I've already had dreams nightmares about giving up on writing altogether, and crawling into a hole of shame, becoming one of those "yeah, I almost published a book...once" people. I'd rather not do that, but like most writers, I have an over-active imagination, and am a bit cynical and self-deprecating. I'm trying to work on that as a life-project in general, but it isn't easy. I'm not a naturally confident person.

So, all that to say: I needed a break; I took a break; I'm done with my break. I'm terrified of the possible negative "don't quit your day job" responses I might get. At the same time, I'm hopeful and trying to be excited for the possible positive "that was awesome!" responses I might get. At this point, either response is just as likely as the other, and I'm trying to stay neutral til I hear solid feedback.

This author thing is going to test my confidence and feelings of self-worth (or lack there of), but I'm sure it'll all work out for the best. Everything does, right?

In the end, I'm doing what I feel I should. That's what helps me sleep at all. Even if I am a terrible writer, I'm just having fun with it.

My next project, aside from writing: youtube. O.O

Ciao for now!  And remember, Keep Creating!

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